I told a new (really difficult) friend of mine that I would explain what I think friendship is about. These are just my view and opinions and the people I'm closest with tend to fall into this dynamic. Some are nice-to-haves while others are must-haves. I know a lot of people don't like me, some fall on this list, I'm always changing, but this is where I stand right now.
01. Don't be racist. Just don't
02. If you're going to put someone down, it has to be funny
03. Don't ever judge someone else for something you do often.
04. Try not to ditch me, because that hurts my feelings. I'm a Cancer after all, and if I've made time for you, don't take it for granted.
05. If we make plans to do a specific thing, we can modify what we're going to do, but if I was looking forward to it, I'll be sad if it doesn't happen.
06. Don't come for me.
07. If you don't drink, I'm kind of confused of why we are friends. . .haha partially serious.
08. Try not to violate my house rules.
09. Apologize when you've fucked up.
10. Never come for my relationship, because I can guarantee, I know more about it then you do so making pointed comments will do you no good.
11. Don't talk badly about my mother.
12. If you decide to start a Facebook war with me, remember, I live with Caleb.
13. Be kind to people. Not nice, but kind. Everyone should start with a clean slate. I've never fallen into disliking someone because of rumors. If you hear one about me, and you don't like me because of it, your best bet would be to talk to me.
14. Never do anything against my husband (electronically, verbally, or physically). Ever. Period. I will end you. This is a promise, and it's one I will keep.
15. If I give you a suggestion about your love life, and you completely dismiss me, then it blows up in your face, you're not allowed to come talk to me about it again. Ever (I hate repeating myself on matters of love)
16. Don't cry in front of me, because I will not make you feel better. Tears for some reason really piss me off.
17. Do not cry to me if you're drunk, because I'll turn into your father and give you something to cry about.
18. Don't tear apart my things. I like my things, and they are mine so respect them
19. If we have a problem, that's fine, but I love conflict resolution a lot more then I like passive aggressive Facebook wars.
20. I will call you out on anything I want to. Sometimes, I'll let you fall flat on your face because you need it.
21. After becoming an entertainer and dealing with the good and bad, I've learned I am forced to resolve conflict a lot faster then I want too. I'm a believer in taken some time to collect your thoughts and responding accordingly. If you come for me before you've thought about the entire situation, you will lose.
22. The best way to impress me is don't be a mess
23. I'm drawn more to realistic people then I am to optimists
24. I will question why you're friends with a person, especially if I don't like them. Anytime I have an inkling that this person will be around that I absolutely hate, I will find any reason to leave
25. I don't trust people who say, "hate is a strong word".
26. Try not to pick a part my personality, I'm one of the few people that can translate what I'm feeling to text or speech. Questioning how I ACTUALLY feel will not bode well for you.
27. I shut down pretty easy.
28. I have a small-talk super power, and if it runs out, I'll just start spouting random non-sense to any question asked of me, because I have no more energy to continue the conversation
29. My drag persona and I have different personalities. She's a lot more sassy, and an alcoholic, and a flirt and bigger than life. I on the other hand am just a little rude and a bit sarcastic. I will be very nice to you, even if you're really awful to me. The only people I actually hate are: 1. The ones that get REALLY rapey with a girl after she leaves the bar 2. To the people that delete me on Facebook (without ever talking to me) that I have to constantly see, because you know, that's not awkward.
30. Even if you violate all of these we can still be friends. Here’s why: I have the ability to see a person and their intentions. I’ve lived a life getting to meet so many different people that there is not cookie cutter way of having friends. I have friends from all different walks, genders, nationalities and religions. Some I’m closer with then others, and it’s only because they put forth the effort. I do believe that there are bad people, and I do believe there are mean people. I try to find a healthy balance of positive/negative people in my life to keep things fun. I never run away from drama because I’m not a four year old. However I’m not ruled by it either. At times I feel like I have a really good life and the people around me are a part of that. My bonds with people are strong, and I don’t normally see love in friendship because people will often let you down. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a friend who hasn’t let me down about a billion times. I used to be really sad before finding love because I know that people don’t like me very much because I am opinionated with strong views. After I found myself I still treated people the same, but I’m less lonely. People will let you down, even when you’re not expecting much from them. If you ever say you love me, and here’s the biggest secret of them all, if I don’t say it back. . .there is always a reason. If I say it to you, it’s because you haven’t pissed on our friendship 1000 times.