I live with my aunt. She is very very homophobic. My boyfriend and I haven't been dating very long, but we are ready to start sleeping together. The problem I'm having is that we don't really have a place to do it, and he keeps suggesting my house. My aunt thinks he's just one of my good friends and they laugh and joke alot. She even knows that he's gay. He keep urging me to come out to her cause she'd be cool with it, but I don't have the heart to tell him all the little awful things she says about gay people when he's not around. Little does she know she has one under her own roof. What should I do?
Mr. Take Me Away
Dear Mr. Take Me Away,
I can tell you now that if your aunt makes jokes like that she will probably not be too open to you coming out to her even if outwardly she seems ok with it. I would suggest easing her into it. However make sure you come out to her because it's something you want to do, not because you have a guy you want to sleep with. Coming out is hard in any avenue and you don't need the added pressures of your sexual relationship when trying to figure out how to handle the aftermath. With that in mind, if you do come out, she could take it wonderfully. It's a personal journey for everyone. I've heard both sides. As I've said in many other posts, honesty and communication go along way. I know you are afraid of tarnishing the image of your aunt, but if you explain the whole situation, I bet your man will understand. If he doesn't, he's really not worth your time. Now, on to the sex part. If you're a virgin, I understand why this didn't already happen. Our society places so many rules and regulations on sex when it's such a private matter between you and the person you're with. If you would like to sleep with your man, then all you need is to be comfortable, and that can pretty much happen anywhere. I'm not saying hop in the back seat of your car, but if you want it to be special and nice, maybe you guys split a hotel room for the weekend and have a stay-cation. Get a couple of Red Box Flicks and grab some pizza. Make it special, or make it simple. Either way, if you like the person, no matter where it is or how it happens, it's going to be pretty great (even if the sex is bad).