I added to my conclusion about why certain people have trouble finding relationships. (I really need to create a series about this).
I've recently been trying to discover why those who are physically appeal to society, possibly even attractive, have such a hard time finding an ideal mate. Immediately you think it's because of personalities clashing, but I've come to discover that personal attraction is the second part of the equation.
The first part is chasing after someone who LOOKS the way you want them too, but doesn't ACT the way you want them too. Imagine this: Hot guy Brad is super into hot guy Greg. However hot guy Brad has a hard time making hot guy Greg want to commit. Hot guy Greg seems interested and responds to flirtation, but Greg is just not going to make the leap to commit (no matter how hard Brad tries).
From literally every person I've talked to about this, hot guy Brad is being ridiculous. . . .
Scenario 2: Hot guy Jeremy is thinking that hot guy Ben is the one. They date, but hot guy Ben seems cold, and he has a lot of horrible traits that hot guy Jeremy is ignoring because hot guy Ben is really hot.
Once again, hot guy Jeremy is being a little ridiculous. (Square peg, round hole).
Look people. Stop trying to force connection and compatibility. Exes are exes for a reason. Just because you feel something strong, doesn't mean that the other person does as well (actions will always speak louder then words). You need to find someone who appreciates the majority of you, not just bits and pieces. Attraction is one piece of the puzzle and, honestly, it becomes the piece you throw away after you realize how awesome someone is, because after the looks fade, you are left with that personality. Is that personality something you want in your life? I'm NOT talking about the personality YOU THINK someone has, I'm talking about the personality someone actually has. You should hear your partner say mushy things like, "I love everything about him" or "Everything about him makes me smile". It's true. Love doesn't have "Buts" and "Ifs". There isn't room for grey. Sure, you can grow together, but you can't force something that doesn't exist. (I can promise you that it won't exist later either. People don't change, they grow, and that's by their own choice, not anything you can push or help with.)
If you've ever talked about someone you like or LIKED with a sentence starting with, "Well, it would have worked if" or "Well, I feel like it was going fine but. .."
That is why you're single.
Stop looking for the qualities you want in a man and start accepting the qualities you need when they're presented to you. Sometimes it's not wrapped in the package you want, but I can guarantee you're probably not the package he wanted. At the end of the day you'll be better off for it, because you're building something that could never be mistaken for superficial.
We stick with the love we think we want versus the love we actually deserve and need (This is actually the opposite of the straight community). The only thing I see gays ever "settle" for is when their relationship turns completely sour they stick around because most gays would rather be miserable then alone.
That's the real tragedy.
Open yourself up to different packages. Love isn't hard to find when you decide to stop looking for something superficial and imaginary. Try looking for something real.
Just some Coco Jem Holiday for thought.