I went to the mpower event yesterday, and had a really good time. However through the course of the day I got caught in that "type" conversation. Not so much about physical attributes, but other areas as well. Here are some of the gems that came from this:
I need someone who is just a little shorter then I am.
I need someone who is roughly around my age.
I need someone who is about my build, maybe a little more muscular and is concerned about fitness.
I need someone who is nice but not too nice and might treat me a little rough.
I need someone who doesn't judge me.
I need someone who doesn't wear facial hair, even though some people like it, I don't
I need someone who I don't have awkward moments with.
I need someone to try harder than I try.
The funny thing about this is it is coming from an endless supply of people who are consistently single. There is difference between knowing what you want, and being unrealistic. The fact is, you can't find someone who has everything you want, because (and wait for it), in a relationship you DON'T NEED everything you want. A relationship is built on two people with a shared goal who compliment one another. It's not about six pack-abs and credit scores. It's about what makes you happy. . .We live in America. We are not limited to lust. Caleb made a good point to me a long time ago that said, "Honestly, all of that stuff is shallow and is just about sex". Cause it is. Will it matter when you're introducing your boyfriend to your parents that he is a little shorter then you are. Will it matter to the realtor (when you're buying your first house) that your boyfriend is roughly around your age? Will it matter on your wedding day that he has facial hair? Will it matter on your death bed if your husband has four-pack abs when he was 25?
I bet you're saying, "Well it matters to me?"
To that I say, "It shouldn't"
Finding "the one" isn't about finding all of these little details which don't quite fit together to form your perfect man. If you want to have a hookup with a guy who fits your needs, that's practical, because "your needs" are physical anyway, and that's really all you want from them (is sex). If you want to find a connection, something meaningful. . .and stay with me here. . .at the end of the day, it isn't about YOUR NEEDS, it's about theirs. Because when you give yourself to someone, you should be getting back just as much in return. . .