I used to have this firm believe on the stance of collaboration opposed to compromise. In a relationship, I used to feel like compromise was such a negative word. They whole mentality of give or take made no sense because ultimately someone was giving more, or someone was taking more. I used to think that in a collaborative relationship, you don't feel like you're losing anything because those things weren't necessary. I used to feel these things. Now I'm married. . .
They still hold true. Where does the scale of fairness exist in any relationship. How do you know you're not giving or taking enough. You don't know. The rules I've always tried to follow, even though I sometimes falter, is to do right by my partner, even in cases where it doesn't quite makes sense. In that moment, I'm not sacrificing what I want to do, because I usually end up enjoying the outcome, and that is something I'm getting (not losing). My husband and I put the laundry away together. Doing this, it only takes a few moments and we talk while we are doing it. My husband does a lot of the kitchen and bathroom cleaning and I handle the rest. I know that my relationship isn't perfect, but I'm always evaluating the love that I live in because I want to make sure I'm honoring the person who said yes. When I collaborate with my partner, I'm not losing anything. When we end up compromising, I feel like a little seed of resentment starts to grow. A lot of this can be changed with a simple conversation, but sometimes, if you've built a strong enough foundation, it's easy to not sweat the small stuff and still feel like you're not losing who you are. I'm not talking about being married singles, but loving what's important for the future of the relationship.
Just some Coco Jem Holiday for thought.