I think the common misconception about me is that I “fit in”. Being social doesn’t mean you fit in anywhere. I don’t know how to best explain this but fitting in is the least of my worries. However, I’ve always wanted to be a part of a gay tribe. Gay Tribes (mostly used on Grindr) could include: Bear, Clean-Cut, Daddy, Discreet, Geek, Jock, Leather, Otter, Poz, Rugged, Trans, and Twink. I thought those were pretty cool, but I never fit in there either. I’m a drag queen, and that’s my tribe.
I was going through Instagram and seeing handsome burly men (known as bears) who are being body positive and living their truth. Me on the other hand, I guess I’ve always seen myself as a bear even though others never really saw me as that. I never had a problem dating bigger men, but bigger men had a problem dating me. I remember thinking that this couldn’t be the way it works. If I did have someone be interested in me, it was like it was because they had some sort of fetish toward black men. Ultimately it left me feeling very alone and isolated. Never in a million years did I think i'd find love or happiness that stemmed from love. I'm a believer in that you shouldn't find someone who completes you. That's to much work for another person to fix you. You should find someone who helps you and brightens your already complete circle. Being in love is like hearing your favorite song again for the first time. When you find someone who takes the times to hear your song it can honestly mean everything.
Today I’ve found a partner who accepts all of me. It’s the best feeling to know I matter to another individual who doesn’t just seem my size, race or flaws. I think we all just want to fit in. . . I just happened to fit in with the man that loves and a gaggle of gays who play dress up.